


Mixtures of Mayhem

by TheSilentOtaku



Series: The Tenants of Shining Mansion [2]
Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cooking, Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 04:04:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19715860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSilentOtaku/pseuds/TheSilentOtaku
Summary: Natsuki attempts to cook and Syo is very afraid.





	Mixtures of Mayhem

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for [@sugary_natsukis](https://twitter.com/sugary_natsukis) on Twitter for the 2019 Utapri Summer Secret Santa!
> 
> My prompt was a follows: "Anything with Natsuki and Syo in it. If you don't like romantic stuff just something with their friendship. About a theme? Maybe ice cream or candy. Let them be having fun in summer! Maybe Natsuki found some cute desserts and wants to share them with Syo. If you can't do more than one character, anything with only is fine!"
> 
> I decided to make this fic a part of my nebulous Utapri Youtuber! AU. I already had an idea sitting in the back of my head for a Syo/Natsuki fic and I thought that this prompt had some good ideas I could incorporate.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like this Lago!

Syo thought that Natuski was skilled at a number of things. He could play the violin better than anyone Syo knew and had a natural ability to pull off some of the most brightly-colored, frilly, and/or not-so-cohesive fashion ensembles that would otherwise look terrible on someone else.

Natsuki wasn't the best at cooking, however.

So when Natsuki had come to him with a rough draft of his next YouTube video along with a list of ingredients and reference recipes, it isn’t at all dramatic to say that Syo felt the weight of impending doom dropped heavily in the pit of his stomach. The last time that Natsuki had attempted to cook, it had been a batch of those thick, Japanese-style dessert pancakes that the both of them had shared at a café in Harajuku; fruit, cream, syrup and all. It was an honest effort that, unfortunately, ended so disastrously that Syo had spent the rest of the night slumped over a toilet bowl with Cecil Snapchatting the entire thing and Ai Googling whether someone could die from eating a combination of milk, flour, and (Natsuki’s special ingredient for added flavor and health benefits) a copious amount of fish oil.

That wasn't the least bit fun. And the only thing more dangerous than Natsuki near a kitchen was Syo's inability to say no to him. But Syo didn't think he could handle another incident of his Twitter and Instagram followers asking him what foundation he used that withstood all the puking and sweating. Natsuki needed new content for his YouTube channel and Syo was a little too busy getting together a video about online styling subscriptions to go looking for cute cafés. A cooking video it would have to be.

This time Natsuki wanted to try making animal-decorated donuts using the donut maker. The machine had been sent to him by an appliance company hoping for a collaboration. He had already bought candy melts off Amazon, and Syo had even gone through the trouble of making sure that his recipe didn't include any… special ingredients.

When Syo came down from their shared room with the camera, tripod, and ring lights the next day, he was met with the image of Natsuki carefully measuring out the different ingredients on the marble kitchen island. Syo did a careful glance over of the items placed there. He set the filming equipment down and flipped around the different spice containers and tinted bottles and paper bags. Vanilla and sugar and flour. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He let out a sigh of relief.

With a few hours of filming and about five pages of notes for editing, they got the content they needed. Natsuki had had an unfortunate accident with a stand mixer that resulted in a flurry of flour and baking powder flying everywhere and coating the kitchen island and wood floors. Despite it being a mess to clean, the footage would make for great blooper reel content or maybe even a special video for Natsuki’s Patreon supporters. 

Finished and tired, they began packing up the filming equipment and cooking utensils. While Syo was folding the tripod, Cecil and Ren walked past the kitchen.

“Natsuki, did you cook?!” Cecil asked, skipping into the kitchen. He balanced his hands on the island countertop and leaned down to get a closer look at the donuts. “They’re cute~!” Ren looked over Cecil’s shoulder to also inspect them.

There were four of them. One was decorated as a dog in white candy melts and melted chocolate used to draw on its face and ears, one had been dipped in yellow candy and decorated with chocolate and pink frosting for a baby chick, an all black cat with white chocolate whiskers, and a brown chocolate-dipped donut decorated like a bear. All of them placed on a simple ceramic plate. They looked exactly like something Natsuki would make-- most definitely eat-- and, thanks to Syo’s close observations, were one-hundred percent free of Natsuki’s deadly concoctions. 

That’s why when Cecil and Ren gave Syo the ‘look,’ the one that meant ‘hey, is this safe or am I going to die?’ Syo gave them both the go-ahead. Each of them two took one donut and took a bite. They chewed and swallowed. No one choked and no one died.

“Nacchan! These actually taste really good!” Ren praised. 

There was nothing like Natsuki’s face when someone praised his cooking. On the off chance that he made something that was able to be touched with bare hands and digested by a regular human stomach and received compliments, Natsuki’s face would light up and his eyes would sparkle. Syo swore that everytime it happened he could hear birds chirping and felt his pores get smaller. Every day that Natsuki was happy was a good skin day for Syo. It happened too often to be a simple coincidence.

Everything was fine… until Natsuki pulled out the milk.

From the refrigerator, Natsuki extracted a dark blue plastic pitcher. He pulled two tall glasses from the cupboards above the sink and proceeded to pour the contents of the pitcher into them. The milk was a light brown color, like the color of chocolate milk made from syrup that had been hand-stirred into it. There was also a reddish hue to it that worried Syo.

“Hey, Natsuki what’s th--”

“It’s spiced milk!” Natsuki, more than likely unintentionally, interrupted. “I heard that it goes really well with this donut recipe!”

Cecil, poor, poor Cecil, sniffed at his glass and began drinking before Syo could mention that he hadn’t actually watched Natsuki make it. In fact, he didn’t even know when exactly Natsuki had time to make something like that. Maybe when Syo was getting the equipment from upstairs? Maybe Natsuki had made it before he even came to Syo to ask for help with filming? Syo didn’t cook often and he barely used the kitchen.

Cecil got halfway down his glass before he choked and spit the contents all over the front of his body and any surface within range. Ren followed suit shortly after, only he had downed his whole glass and Syo could see dark, reddish-brown sediment that had settled at the bottom of the glass. Syo looked on worried as two of his friends sputtered and spit in front of him. He dreaded what exactly Natsuki had done. 

“Nacchan… N-Natsuki why is the milk  _ spicy?”  _ Ren coughed out. He held the glass away from him with two fingers like he was afraid that it would explode in his face. He turned away to hack into the elbow of his other arm. 

Cecil was currently doing his best impression of a cat *this* close to gagging as he held out his tongue and wiped at it furiously. Syo could only watch in horror as Ren’s face grew red and Cecil hopped around like moving would stop the heat.

But Natsuki looked on in confusion, still wearing the white bandana that held back his hair and his new lacy green apron that he bought online. His glasses and cheeks still had flour smudged on them.

“Like I said, I read that spiced milk would go well with the donuts,” he said, watching as Cecil dashed to the sink to stick his mouth under the running tap. “So I used some cayenne pepper and chili powder that was in the cabinet. And then I found some white pepper and thought that that would make it even better! …Was that not right?”

Syo didn’t understand how someone could look and sound so innocent while admitting that they did something so terribly wrong. Only Natsuki.

“Oh, I think I’m gonna be sick!” Ren whispered, then rushed out of the kitchen. Syo knew he was scrambling to the bathroom where Ren would also experience the consequences of eating Natsuki’s cooking for a night.

“This is worse than that time me and Otoya ate bananas and drank sprite at the same time,” Cecil said after gargling a mouthful of water and swallowing it. “Only… spicy…” He stood and leaned against the kitchen counter. He rubbed his stomach a few times, almost as if that was supposed to soothe whatever war was being waged between the milk, sugar, and mixture of chili spices swirling in his stomach. It must have not worked because Cecil’s whole body jerked forward from gagging. “I think I’m also sick!” And there went Cecil.

Before long Syo could hear muffled sounds of someone throwing up in the upstairs bathroom along with the thump of slippered footsteps in the hallway. Masato and Otoya were home and Ai and Ranmaru would be back from work soon. Then they could all witness another disastrous night of puking and Googling. 

Syo turned to Natsuki who only looked up at the ceiling, more confused than anything as he too listened to either Ren or Cecil wretching.

“Natsuki, you do know that you make spiced milk with  _ cinnamon _ , right? Please tell me that you know that. It’s important to me that you know that. And that it’s usually served  _ warm _ ?” Syo felt like he was pleading. 

But Natsuki didn’t look too put out by all of it, Instead, he said, “Oh… well, no wonder they didn’t like it...

Holy shit.

Natsuki was never allowed in the kitchen again.

Ever.

Syo meant it this time…

“Well, I guess I just have to try harder next time, right?’ Natsuki poked at his cheek, thinking. Then he turned to Syo, bright-eyed and smiling. “No chili powder next time maybe.” 

Syo was weak. When it came to Natsuki he would always be weak.

...well if Natsuki REALLY wanted to cook something then maybe…

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, now I know that milk can be used to neutralize the capsaicin in spices and peppers and stuff, but I’ve learned that if you eat like a shitload of spicy food and don’t chug like a gallon of milk then it doesn’t really help. And by then you’re puking because chugging milk is gross and so is just straight eating spices. Don’t do either of those things. 
> 
> You can find me on [@blackrabbit-megapig](http://blackrabbit-megapig.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, but I'm much more active on Twitter [@kurousagi_ojou](https://twitter.com/kurousagi_ojou)


End file.
